everything is alive

While I Wonder(ed) Through Spring

Welcome to my monthly collection of little things.

Sit with me in contemplating all the little things that surround us and affect us in big ways. In these monthly posts I practice “the art of noticing” everything from articles/songs to random occurrences in my life. My hope is that what I write about can pull you out of the depths of yourself, lift your eyes, and inspire you to know the greatest Love, Good, and Beauty in God.

IN THIS NEWSLETTER YOU’LL GET:

- ZOOMED: a monthly recap (& what’s next for me!)

- BOOKMARKS: articles & other inspirations

- QUIZ (new monthly find!)

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Is there a moment in the last few months you can point to and say, ‘that’s when I really felt alive’? What is all this living business—to be alive, to have a good life?

I’m back after a Substack hiatus & I fear it’s almost time for my quarter-life crisis. Part of me dreads it because this past month I’ve already been quite ill…how much more can a girl take?

And when I’m feeling the suffering the most, I think I can’t take not even one bit more. I cry. I put this pressure on me no one can see. I’m Luisa Madrigal. I’m the Psalmist crying

…. to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
² When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands,
and I would not be comforted.

³ I remembered you, God, and I groaned;
I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.^[b]
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
⁵ I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
⁶ I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart meditated and my spirit asked:

⁷ “Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
⁸ Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
⁹ Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?” (PSALM 77)

And then I enter the sanctuary of God. I pray for a friend. The Holy Spirit moves me when I’m translating Hebrew or washing the dishes and I think God I know God is here. I think He is doing something. I’m not sure what. Maybe it is like He is handing me a microscope and letting me shut out the world for a minute.

I feel it when I write:

My cramps are hands that cling to the couch. The sky cries all the tears I couldn’t muster. What is this day? Wasted? I close my eyes, hoping that when they open it would be clear. Clear for me to go. I’m not sure where, but I need to get up. To feel.

I love the smell of wet ground. It feels right. I smell mint too, all over the garden. Maybe I’ll peek in. Raspberries are about to sprout. My beans are making their way to the sky. A new weed. I pull it. Move a rock to the edge of the garden. But before I place it…I’m kind of curious what the bugs are up to. Bugs. There are so many everywhere. And I think the ground is alive. Rock placed, I breathe in again. There’s so many birds, so many different songs. I look up. Movement in the trees. Birds or squirrels or wind or God. Alive. I want it. I pop off my shoes and march across the fields. Birds and bugs and wet grass. My feet are cold but my face is warm. The sun holds me. And God. Everything is alive. I’m alive.

It’s my hope that we can know and feel and live the life the Jesus died to bring us into with Him.

So, substack. Hello! I’m alive. Sometimes living is hard. Yet, always life proves to be good, a gift from God. The hard good. Maybe that’s what I’ll write about more…as if I haven’t written so much on that already. I like living in the nuance, it just oddly makes more sense. My aspirations on here have still remained the same, yet I’ve had to take a bit of breaks. I hope you’ll enjoy what I have to write. And that even in the pain we so often find ourselves in, God would surprise you with his mighty and glorious joy.

please read the Lord of the Rings if you didn’t grow up in that Christian culture and never read it. it is great, you’re welcome.

I am planning on expanding this section of my monthly posts! It will partner with my “rediscovering beauty” section. I have big plans! We shall see what God has in mind. For now, I’ll leave you with this article:

How to Be Happier in Your Home

I am helping decorate & organize my friends’ home. I’ve been thinking about stuff like this the whole time! It’s worth a read.

And now a QUIZ! I’m treating this more like a Christian girlie magazine I would want to read…and as I end my Sabbath I’m thinking a lot about rest! God knows how much we need it, it allows us to truly live! So, please enjoy a 90’s-inspired quiz about rest:

with love,